17 March 2006

Purging and Purifying

The last few years of my life....maybe more like the last year and ongoing, have been about purging and purifying. We have been renovating our house and purging it of unwanted drabness. We have also spent countless hours going through boxes, closets, drawers, garages, in an attempt to organize, simplify, and get rid of everything that is not essential to life. I love the feeling that comes with a well-organized and simplified area. It's almost addictive. We've gotten rid of so many clothes, books, knick-knacks, miscellaneous stuff, that I feel I should almost have an empty house. But I don't.
The purging has not been limited to only our house. We have also been doing a colon and total-body three-month cleanse from drnatura.com. You should all check it out. It is an amazing thing. Husband and I started this cleanse after a three-day Green Tea cleanse (courtesy of Dana). We are a little cleanse-happy--but we like the way it makes us feel--clean! We started eating mostly organic food most of the time. We do not use body care products with synthetic materials. Everything must be as close to the way God made it as possible.
I love going through paper piles and getting rid of paper clutter. I think that paper clutter is the worst of all. I think that we have finally devised a system to banish paper clutter altogether. And, I am not going to follow the "rules" and keep three years of all kinds of ridiculous documents. Why--when I can get them all electronically anyway?
Sometimes it is hard to part with things even if you don't need them. Like say, coats. If you're my husband. My husband as of last summer had about 15 vintage coats that were almost totally identical to one another. And they were taking up a good portion of one of the only closets we possess. While I was getting ready for a rummage sale with BFF I had to have The Coat Negotiation, leading to the Coat Armistice with husband. The discussion went something like this: "Husband, you have 15 of the same coat." "They aren't the same! I like them!" "Well, take these two for example--they are the same color, lined with the same material..." "This one is longer."
People--the coat is like 2 millimeters longer.
"What about this one? It fits your Uncle Tim. Uncle Tim weights three hundred pounds, is seven feet tall, and looks like a cross between Hulk Hogan and Paul Bunyan."
"But it's my Uncle Tim's coat."
"Put it on!"
Husband dons coat. Husband disappears completely.
"You have to get rid of this coat."
In the end, we compromised (The Coat Armistice), and husband got rid of MOST like coats and even a few belonging to relatives.
I understand, though, because I have a vintage dress fettish. I also have a hard time letting go.
Hopefully by the beginning of summer, the entire house, garage, yard, closets, everything will be completely enema-ized and we will be free of unnecessary possessions. I love that goal.
This goal has not been merely limited to environment and body. This has also been about a cleansing of mind and soul. Of old attitudes (the meal does NOT actually have to revolve around a meat and potato???). Of old relationships.
Because, people, this weekend, The Guy I Almost Married is coming to stay with us. With his pregnant wife. Who was my best friend in college.
This takes some cleansing of the soul and some hard core letting go. I challenge any of you to handle this well.
I am not going to go into the twists and turns of the relationship with Guy I Almost Married, but suffice it to say that it was very complicated and very spiritual and very close to me. It is reason number 3 that I moved away from the big city (#1 being getting back together with Husband at that time Boyfriend and #2 being constantly sexually harrassed by creeps on the street). This relationship destroyed me in every single way for over four years.
It's funny, though, how one day God just brings healing for it and allows you to begin the forgiveness and healing process. And you realize that you'd rather have these people that you love in your life in some form than not at all. And priorities change and things change and most things are different.
This might sound weird to you. But I am the same girl that had two of my X's sing at my wedding--one Guy I Almost Married with Best Friend from College(they sang a duet, people, at our wedding, thank you) and one Boyfriend and Tormenter from early life, also with his girlfriend who I love! My personal philosophy is that when you have a deep connection with someone--someone who has made a profound impact on you personally and spiritually, that you do not just throw that relationship away because it doesn't meet your definitions of "perfect" anymore.
So, more purging--of desires, of anger, of bitterness, of shame, of hopes. This is all required.
So, this is my quest for the next year. To get rid of clutter. To read books I own but haven't read and then pass them on. To clean my body. To loose the clutter of extra weight both physically and spiritually. To allow God to continue the sanctification and purification of me that is so, so needed. To continue to surrender to Him and allow Him to do this.
I leave you with 2 Corinthians 7:1:
"Since we have these promises dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."


Anonymous Steve Johnson said...

I think that you should give 'Husband' a break on the coats.It seems lik a perfectly healthy and normal hobby. He sounds like a superb human.

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't stop your purging there in Fargo. There are still some drawers and closets here at home that need some "purifying"!

7:59 AM  

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